Complaints about being shy

I am easily terrified while in social situations. Someone I don’t know approaches and I panic. I begin frantically looking for my social butterfly husband who can talk to anyone–literally, anyone–with ease. His ability to ask questions of strangers and his outgoing personality make him a perfect BBQ-goer, party date, awkward situation fixer, new friend, and (thankfully, for me) husband.

So, with our recent life change, moving, lots of moments with strangers have been thrust upon me. Going to a new church always feels painful, but it seems to be especially so when your husband is known by practically everyone. After you’re introduced as wife, the wonderful person you’re meeting says, “Oh my gosh, I have known Eric since (insert moment at least two decades ago)”. And you awkwardly laugh and smile while wracking your brain for something to say.

And then it gets worse.

They smile at you then begin talking to social superstar husband while you’re left to stand there with a dorky smile on your face.

They finally remember that you’re there and ask how you like Washington. You smile and say you’ve really enjoyed your time there so far and that it’s been a great summer. But then your mind goes blank while you desperately try to think up a question to ask said kind person who saw your husband wear diapers.  And it’s not their fault.  They are kind and wonderful, but it can be hard to talk to a blank wall.  (And, yes, I realize that is really self-disparaging, but I don’t really mean for it to be.  I completely understand that I am shy and my awkwardness can make it seem like I’ve got nothing going on behind that face of mine.  I’m really thankful for the people who keep trying and help me hobble past my fears.)

It’s not that I don’t want to be there. I really do. I can’t even begin to describe how three weeks in, we’ve made some friends and have been welcomed so graciously. I just wish my brain would process faster when I was in a social situation. It would make meeting new people so much easier!

Also, exciting news in a blog post to come in the near future…I overcame my fears and made a friend! We even hung out outside of church! Woo hoo!

If nothing else, being shy has helped me to keep my social calendar empty to read books! I’m fully embracing my introvertedness…

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